Nursing mommy problems

When you realize a button in the middle of your Oxford has been undone since your last pumping session...three hours ago. #peepshow #andyesIamatwork

This happened

Me: "I'd like to report suspicious sounds outside my house."

911 Operator: "Is that what I hear in the background? It sounds like a bullfrog?"

Me: "No, that is my breast pump."

Six months

I'm completely shocked my son is six months old!! It feels like just yesterday we were bringing him home.

He is weighing in at 23 lbs, measuring 28.5 inches and sporting a 19-inch noggin.

He absolutely loves watching little kids! He also is a big fan of vegetables, especially peas much to his dad's dismay. Not a huge fan of fruits yet.

The boy is wearing size 18 month clothes and goes through them like crazy on any given day thanks to being a miniature drool factory. No teeth yet, but surely soon.

He thinks our dog Macy is the funniest thing ever and will gladly give you a kiss on the cheek if you ask for one. It melts my heart! Also loves the jumperoo, exersaucer, playing "How Big" and really a good time in general. Music puts him to sleep...although Zzzzssss are something he's not a fan of--especially if you're trying for his crib. He got a small stuffed penguin (Pengy) at the zoo a few weeks ago from grandma that he's starting to have with him at night night time.

Walks are fun and do tend to make the little guy zonk out, as did the pool on his first time there.

Overall, he's a very happy and good baby (ask me again at 330 am). We are SO so so very happy to have you in our lives Charlie Brown!! Happy six month birthday!!

Kisses,
Mommy

Quick quips

1. You know you're busy when you are thankful it rains so you can cross "water flowers" off your to-do list.

2. Diapers.com is seriously the bomb.com. Ordered the lad a new carseat last night at 11 pm (30% off sale ended yesterday). It has already arrived. That's faster than I could have made it to a brick & mortar store to buy one! Love love love them.

The parenting juxtaposition

I've worked until at least 730 for the last week. Each evening when the minutes would tick by, I wished I was no where but home, snuggling with my babe. Tonight I have the chance, and I do. But then it's time for him to go to sleep and he wants no part of transferring from my arms to the crib. Or the rock n play. Or even the floor. But it has to be done--there are bottles to wash, bottles to fill, and nourishment for me.

He cries the entire time. He ceases as soon as I pick him up.

We move upstairs. I'm in dire need of a shower. He cries the entire time through it.

He's essentially been crying for two hours straight, only because he wants me to hold him.

And I don't. I let him cry and be so sad because he wants in his mother's arms. The same arms he will be too big for someday.

I know the days will go so fast. I want to spend every one of them cuddling with my son. Yet I don't for fear of him becoming too coddled or because there are necessary chores that must be done. Yet the tears in his eyes say he wants nothing more than me.

How's that for a parenting crisis.

Sweet smiles

There's not a lot my grandma remembers these days, including her own kids (my dad), where she is, etc. And although she can't remember Charlie's name or his relation to her, the smiles they brought one another today at my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary are unforgettable to me.

Changed

It's not that I was heartless before Dec. 21, but the emotions overcoming me as I watch coverage from the Moore, Oklahoma tornado is unlike anything I've known. I'm positive it's coming from the place of a mother. Hearing kids' testimonies of "hanging on to the wall at school so I wouldn't blow away" and seeing photos of families surrounded in piles of shrapnel, formerly their belongings, have brought me to tears.

It's another unfortunate reminder that of all the things we desire and want for our children, nothing compares to that of our family's health and safety.

Praying for everyone devastated by this storm.

What the duct?

You know when you're looking for something on a high shelf, so you jump up quickly to see if you can catch a quick glimpse of it? Well I did that tonight. And upon landing, it feels like a softball was chucked at my left breast and lodged there. I think what may have happened is the force of the landing caused a boatload of ducts to clog up...or something. The left teet is rock hard and hurts. Ouchie mama.

Anyone have an experience like this? Come on random readers. Isn't the status of your boob exactly what you want your first comment to be on?

My favorite part is when I told TFitch about it he said, "is that what you need to put a warm washcloth on?" To quote the classy movie "Knocked Up," "he read the baby books."

There is no photo to accompany this post.

Daycare

Charlie started daycare today. It was a day I've been dreading since Dec. 21 of last year - maybe even longer - but we did okay! Of course I got teary eyed and was sad to leave him, but checked in on the webcam a lot today. They reported he felt overwhelmed at times, but all in all had a good first day. I think he will really like it and I think he'll be great buds with Connor, the big, active 10-month-old boy in his class.

It feels surreal that we're settling in to life as we know it. Back to work. The start of Charlie's next phase of life. These balloons have been floating high in the sky in our house since he was born (could never bring myself to deflate them) and just yesterday they started falling. I guess the newborn phase is really coming to an end. Crazy.

Memory

Tonight I was washing Charlie's face while he was lying on the changing table in his room, listening to his lullabies on low, and a small wave of emotion came over me. Charlie and I were winding down this day the exact way we started nearly every one of them while I was home with him. It was the first gentle reminder that those glorious months are over. But, I truly do enjoy being at work. While there may have been a few tears tonight, I do believe they are because I'm so glad for our time together and tonight was a reminder of that irreplaceable time in both of our lives.

Mama loves you Charlie boy.

Home is where the baby is

Two full days of work under my belt. Yesterday afternoon I was really itching to get home. I missed Charlie so much! That was the longest I had been away from him. But all in all it is going well.

Mornings have been a lot earlier and busier, but it is good. I am thankful my mom is here this week so Charlie gets more time at home. I got home from work today at 5 pm and she had done our laundry and folded it, Charlie's laundry and put it away, washed our sheets and made our bed and made dinner, of course also feeding Charlie three times, changing two poopy diapers and numerous wet ones, putting him down for numerous naps and more. How does she do it? Trevor's mom is here next week! We are very grateful for the grandma's help!!

Here's a picture grandma Mary sent me today. Love my updates from home!

I survived!

First day of work--check! For anyone returning to the office after maternity leave I highly recommend going mid-week, half days and having the little one stay with dad. Makes it much more tolerable!! Plus having awesome co-workers helps make you want to be there. But still...there's nothing like hanging with the little one.

Fun at Oak Park Mall!

Please note aviators are ages 4-7. And that's years.

In the words of Will Smith

Tummy tummy tummy time.
Time to hit the floor and unwind.

Three months old!

Blurry picture but you can still clearly see how happy Charlie is to be three months old today! Best 90 days ever! We love you baby boy! Stop growing up so fast!

Winding down

Last Saturday I couldn't pull myself from the bed. Once I did get up and I took a shower, tears streamed down my face. For some reason, the reality of maternity leave winding down hit me like a ton of bricks that day, and I couldn't help but cry.

I can't believe that two weeks from today I'll be returning to my first job as a PR professional. And while I love my career and most importantly, the people I work with, my new title as mom is more fulfilling than any promotion I've ever received.

Going back is going to be so hard.

But, I'm vowing to myself to enjoy the next two weeks. I get so weepy thinking of not spending 24-7 with my baby, but when my eyes start to well up, I quickly try to redirect my thoughts to the fact my time with Charlie isn't going away, it will just be a little different. Until the day actually comes, I'm loading up on fun activities to add to maternity leave memories: play dates, Gymboree, the zoo. And simply relishing just holding him in my arms for hours while he snoozes. The dishes can wait.

My friend mentioned a quote when she went back to work, and it was just on the Today Show this morning.

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

― Dr. Seuss

Such great advice from one of the greats. (Two greats when you count Shannon.) I'm trying my hardest to live this. So hopefully instead of seeing me sad, you'll see me grinning larger than life, simply overjoyed for the time I've had over the past 12+ weeks. It won't be easy, but then again, what about mommyhood is?

Road Trip!

Charlie's first trip to Omaha! We were going to leave Thursday, then Saturday at 8 am, then Saturday at noon then Saturday at 1:30 pm and finally got on the road Saturday at 1:50 pm. I blame the snow.

Fifteen minutes in and little hombre is snoozing. Hopefully it will last three hours...

Light at the end of the single mom tunnel!

Well Charlie, we did it! We survived not one, not two, not three, not four but FIVE nights without dad, and let us not forget the foot of snow that came our way while he was gone. Here is hoping he actually gets home tonight. In hindsight, the week went decently fast. A big thanks to aunts Lindsay and Kate, uncle Kalin and Michelle for visiting. That helped speed up the days. I was not looking forward to the week. It's not that I didn't think I could do it or I was scared, rather it is (no offense to you), just kind of nice to have a break now and then. But you were a really good boy for momma this week, so thank you for that!

Now we just have to get to your doctors appointment this afternoon. I can't even believe you turned two months yesterday. I'm excited to watch you grow and turn into a little boy, but it's going entirely too fast!!

Tomorrow (was supposed to be yesterday) we are headed north to introduce you to the best city in the world--Omaha! Although you were born in Kansas (the first family member born here), we will raise you to be a Nebraska boy at heart. It really is home for all of us and we can't wait for you to experience it and especially for you to meet your great grandparents and the rest of our family and friends. A little snow can't keep us away!!

More mommy luck

I get all bundled up to go do a pass at shoveling. And then I realize I'm an hour off and it's time to feed Charlie and that's why he's fussy. So I strip down and go to feed him... He falls asleep instantly. Hasn't even attempted to nibble.

Oh where oh where should I book my spa weekend for?

Mommy luck

Daddy traveling for five nights, during which the worst snowstorm since 1900 hits the city. And while babe and I are normally fine cooped in the house for days at a time, we have to get to his doctor's appointment tomorrow. FML.