I've always thought breastfeeding was so weird. Maybe it's just my modest self, but although it's one of the most "natural" things you can do, I always thought it was so strange.
And then I had a baby, I breastfed, and I became slightly obsessed.
Moms do a lot of things. Change diapers, do the laundry, drop off and pick up. We do a lot. But that's nothing dad, grandma, grandpa, the nanny, aunts, uncles or friends can't do.
Being the sole provider of baby's food...when you're nursing...only a momma can do that.
My modesty went out the window when I was nursing. Feed CB in front of family and friends? Check. (Though there were definitely some people I felt a little less comfortable nursing in front of.) Pump in the backseat of the company vehicle with two co-workers (both female, of course) up front? Check. Whip out a boob on an airplane to calm down a hyperactive boy? Tried it, but nothing would calm Hurricane Chuck that day. I digress...
Nursing became this maternal sense of empowerment that I had never envisioned happening. It was a huge part of my life for 10.5 months. 10.5 months! My goal was six months and I made it 10. While not intended to be an "I love myself" post, I will pat myself on the back for sticking with it for that long. Nursing takes time. There are sacrifices in what you can eat and drink. Your wardrobe is planned according to what is easy to strip down in. (Dresses...bad.) You miss out on the party or conversation-at-hand when you have to wander into the other room to feed the baby. Pumping is another meeting added to an already busy schedule at the office. And if you travel for business...well don't forget to call the hotel to get a fridge in your room and figure out how to not be in the security line behind your boss so he doesn't see your breast milk bags get screened for explosives.
But all of that was easily outweighed by the benefits. The fact that you are the source of nutrition for your baby (I,
I, got CB to a meaty 25 pounds! No skim milk here, people.) That dependency, while overwhelming at times, was so cool. And the bond, that one-on-one time you get to spend with your little one will never be replaced.
Stopping nursing was harder than I thought it would be. When we started needing to supplement with formula around 9 months, I had a really hard time with it. It was another realization of how quickly time has passed, plus the culmination of that special thing between CB and I. When he got his two teeth, I was asked if I was done breastfeeding. And while it hurt like a MOTHER when he bit me the few times, I didn't give myself a hard and fast end date. I just kind of let it happen. I had heard friends discussing that approach many many moons ago, before I was a mom. I didn't understand the big deal then, but I do now. Knowing "this is the last time I am going to feed the baby," would be a much harder feeling than, "wow, I haven't nursed since Thursday," which was hard enough in and of itself.
So, I'm done. My partner in crime (not the teats; the pump) was packed down this evening. The
yellow Vera Bradley tote that replaced the black Medela nylon bag will soon be repurposed for another role. The ice pack will start to keep other types of bottles cool. It's quite bittersweet. I have awesome memories of and from nursing my little babe. Like when my brother tried to keep the nurse from entering my hospital room while I feeding CB (she did not care...at all). And when I attended a breastfeeding support group meeting (What.A.Cluster. I need to blog about that before I forget all of the details). And when housekeeping started opening my door while I was pumping.
The primary reason I was able to breastfeed and pump so long is because I was fortunate to have a good supply. I have many friends that physically couldn't produce enough. I feel blessed that God gave me this gift. If you're a nursing mom, or considering it, and have the same gift that I did...stick with it. Don't give up because it's inconvenient. Things that helped me (beyond just being a little dairy cow):
1.
Cheerleaders in your hubby, friends and family. If they support you and encourage you, it helps immensely. When asked if I was done feeding Charlie once he had teeth, I suddenly felt I had to start defending why I was still nursing.
2.
Comfortable environment. While there were many sessions spent in bathroom stalls, and the aforementioned vehicle with co-workers (which happened twice), having the lactation room at the place I pumped the most--
work--was awesome. Cheers to the Milky Way! And being surrounded with co-workers who also support your dedication as a breastfeeding working mom is huge. Most women stop breastfeeding when they go back to work, and I thank the awesome environment at my company for helping me stick with it so long.
3.
Good gear. The
Medela Freestyle is awesome. Double electric, hands-free (though it looks like a torture device when you're wearing it) helps you multi-task. Would have been even cooler if I got mine for free. (Dang it! Missed that one by a matter of days.)
4.
iPhone. I'm not sure how women pumped pre-smart phone. Do you know how much Pinteresting and Words-With-Friends-ass-kicking I did while pumping? And let's not forget about CB's Hallmark photo shoot that was a result of a quick Facebook find while in the Milky Way one afternoon. (Note: CB was way. too. huge. for the Hallmark cloths. Please see point about me producing Whole milk.)
5.
An "I can do this" attitude.
To each their own, but I truly believe this (while sometimes feeling like a burden and obligation) has been one of the coolest parts of being a mom; one of my best memories. When I meet, hear of, talk to or read about a breastfeeding mom, I want to give her a huge high five and tell her she is awesome. It's the one and only time I turn into a feminist and want to say, "We. Freaking. Rock."
Life in the Milky Way. Truly out of this world.
