Clearly I am not a doctor because I have zero patience.

This blog post (well the text anyway, not the actual posting because of the lack of Internet access) comes to you from seat 10A of American Eagle Flight 3930 with service to Omaha. Let me tell you about my experience with American Eagle Flight 3930 with service to Omaha. I left a meeting early to make it to O’Hare in time to catch American Eagle Flight 3930 with service to Omaha which was departing at 4:55 p.m. Checked in, made it through security, grabbed a bottled water and yogurt parfait and sat down at my gate with about 20 minutes ‘til boarding time. I made a few phone calls, sent a handful of emails, and looked up at the screen expecting it to be time to board. Instead we were delayed five minutes. “No biggie,” I thought to myself. I people watch and hang out for a few more minutes. Then an announcement comes on the American Eagle Flight 3930 with service to Omaha had a change of gates and we would not be boarding downstairs at gate G14. Again – no biggie. I head downstairs and we’re delayed now until 5:15 p.m. Okay. Send a few more emails (blackberries are life-savers in boring situations like this) and then decide it’s time to crack into the yogurt parfait. I finish the yogurt parfait. I get up and walk around. I grab a new seat. I hear “this is a gate change notification for American Eagle Flight 3930 with service to Omaha. You will now be boarding out of Gwhatever upstairs.” Lots of people moan. I feel like moaning, but it could be worse I tell myself. This O’Hare AND American Airlines and we’re getting out of here with only a 20 minute delay. Not too bad.

Make that a 35 minute delay. Oh wait 40 minute delay. Oh, it’s been five more minutes? Time to update the departure time. Guess what; we’re now departing at 6 p.m.! I skim through a Cooking Light. I call Grandma. I go tinkle. I browse Hudson News. I come back and we’re now leaving at 6:30. I get mad.

I was supposed to LAND in Omaha at 6:25 p.m. I send a few more emails. They make an announcement that our plane has left Rochester, Minnesota and is en route. At this point, do I really care that the plane just left? I think it might add fuel to the annoyance fire.

We boarded American Eagle Flight 3930 with service to Omaha at 6:50 p.m. But not so fast says the captain – we need to get de-iced which will take 15 minutes. What he neglected to say was 15 minutes from the time they start de-icing OUR plane and since O’Hare apparently only has ONE de-icing machine, we’d be sitting there for about 30 more minutes.

Phew. There’s movement. Holy cow I think this plane is moving! “Ladies and gentleman, we’ve been cleared for take-off,” the captain says. “We’re fifth in line.”I looked at my watch and when we started ascending it was 7:45 p.m. Nearly three hours AFTER I was supposed to land in Omaha. I could have almost flown to Chicago and back to Omaha in the time I sat sitting in the damn airport and idle on American Eagle Flight 3930 with service to Omaha. I could have done almost five 30-minute sessions of cardio – more than I do in a week! – in the time I was sitting in the damn airport and idle on American Eagle Flight 3930 with service to Omaha.

And I think that’s the part that annoys me the most. I HATE sitting and doing nothing. I am happy and content and at peace when I am doing something. Anything. But not just sitting.

I realize there are a lot of factors that play into air traffic. I do. But riddle me this. There was slush on the ground in Chicago and apparently a quarter inch of snow in Omaha. Why the almost THREE hour delay? If I booked a flight to leave Chicago at 7:45 p.m., I would have been FINE. But this was out of my control and screwing up my schedule. And I do not like my schedule screwed with.

I do a decent amount of traveling for work and I enjoy it. I am not complaining about that at all (and I am not just saying that because there are Barkley peeps that read this). I really don’t mind it. But when three useless hours are tacked on to your day – I don’t care if you’re traveling for business or for pleasure – it’s frustrating.

Sidenote: the cabin attendant just came by with the drink cart and oh how a beer sounds good. I decided if I was a pilot and MY passengers were delayed, I’d buy them all a around. But that’s just me.

So, new year’s resolution number four is to keep track of my travel for 2008. (This is the first trip which makes me a little nervous if this is any indication of my air travel adventures for the next 323 days.) On this blog, this very blog you are reading, I am going to keep track of my trips. I’m going to record the airports, the airlines and the departure times and we’ll get something out of this. We’ll see just how much time was wasted in one year sitting in airports unplanned. We’ll see if there is any correlation between airlines with delays (cough cough American) and others. We’ll just see. I really wish I could import Excel into a blog but I don’t think I can. So, here goes – my first entry for the year:

Wednesday, Jan. 23
American (Eagle) Airlines
Depart Omaha: On-Time

Wednesday, Jan. 23
American (Eagle) Airlines
Depart Chicago O’Hare: 2 hours 50 minutes late

So, there you have it folks. And I know everyone gets delayed. My colleague traveling with me today had her flight cancelled and she was mysteriously put on another one, thank goodness. She was delayed, too. I’m just fed up and it is therapeutic for me to share my frustrations.

Woo. I feel better. And no I did not buy a drink. I just vented. And now, I have a few other things I’d like to touch on in this post.

1. My desire to build even more parking lots. Guess where I parked this morning at Eppley? In a snow bank. I drove around the garage for 20 minutes and started panicking that I was going to be late so I just parked in what should have been a stall but wasn’t thanks to the wonderful snow plowing, so I rammed my Jeep into the snow bank as far as I could and called it good. I’m sure if I would have put it in 4-Wheel Drive it would have helped but I was also slightly concerned about driving OVER the side of the parking garage. A six-story fall in my Jeep was not in today’s agenda. So, the airport charges $12 a day to park. So, even if I lowered the rate (gotta be competitive you know) to $10 a day and had 100 stalls (to keep it in line with the parking lot I am building near UNO) I’d make $1,000 a day or $365,000 a year. You can add a grand to leap years. With that disposable income (cause of course I’d still work at Barkley; the parking lots would just be a side gig), I’d buy a plane and I think you know why.

2. Lastly, I just wanted to give you an update on my resolutions for this year (not including the one I just established today).

a. Church: We’re one for three (Sundays). The first Sunday we were in Lincoln so that doesn’t really count. The second Sunday we went. Last Sunday I drank too many Coronas the night before and didn’t eat enough dinner and just couldn’t quite make it. I have faith (ha!) we’ll go this Sunday though

b. Fruit or veggies with every meal. I’m definitely working on it and am doing okay. Last night my dinner was Blue Bunny Premium Light Double Strawberry ice cream cause I was a little stressed. Does that count as a fruit? Okay, okay – I need to work on that one.

c. Be financially responsible. I am doing very well on this one! I don’t even look at JCrew.com’s sale or go close to the mall. I’m making this budget work!

And with that, it’s time for me to turn off my approved electronic device and enjoy the ride. Hope you enjoyed the read.