from the desk of macy

From: Trevor Fitch
Sent: Sunday, October 07, 2007 10:38 AM
To: Wendy Fitch
Subject: from the desk of macy

dear wendy,

what does "97th and fort" mean anyway? the guy that i've been pestering the shit out of for the last few days keeps mentioning it. oh well. today i've kept myself busy by running around on the bed while that guy is sleeping and licking him to wake him up. when he wakes finally wakes up, i go back to sleep. it's totally fun. oh yeah, and this morning at like 4, i jumped down, squeezed through the closet door to play with underpants, but couldn't get the door open again, so my incessant barking finally woke that guy up and he let me out. i think he called me "dipshit." so far this morning i've been chewing on socks and underpants, and it's making me gag. totally weird.

now that vacuum cleaner is terrorizing me. i'm cowering in fear, shaking as hard as i can shake, but it won't go away. that guy keeps telling me to "quit being such a lame-ass douchebag", but hell, if i can't run around and be annoying, what am i supposed to do with my time? cower, that's what. i hope he understands that.

have a great time in philly. hope i'm still here when you get back.

your ultra annoying dog,

macy.

p.s. even though i got a bath yesterday, i'm completely filthy and pretty much in need of another one! who'd have thunk it?