A Paint in the Ass

I cried tonight. Not because I got bad news. Not because I stubbed my toe very hard. Because I have been painting our freaking laundry room for a week now and it still looks like shit.

Seriously. It all started last Friday (March 31) when I was driving to Kansas City at 0-six-hundred. Those drives are dangerous. During those drives I’ll do anything to stay awake and that normally means lots of brainstorming. “What new hobby should I pick up this week?” “What other fundraisers can I do to raise money for the 3-Day?” “What should we name our kids?” (I do this drive a lot. I get desperate). That said, March 31 I decided we were repainting our laundry room. The color swatch had been taped to the wall for months; it’s not like it was completely out of the Ruby Red.

Sunday, April 2 Michelle and I ventured to the Home Depot. (Don’t ask where Trevor was. I’ll just say he was home and it involved a mixer, vanilla, chocolate chips and a 350-degree oven.) I purchased the paint and shelves to replace the existing ones. By the time I got home, it was pretty late in the day and all I had time to do is tape.

Painting started this week. Saturday was step one. Primer. I should mention I got the primer for free from our friends, Josh and Shannon. I took the primer and probably should have made sure it matched our paint, worked with our paint, etc. But they offered a gift and I accepted. Thank you, Hites. Yesterday was coat 1. Turned out blotchy. I’m thinking it will look fab after coat two. That came tonight. If you want to know the outcome, you should have seen the tears streaming down my face while I was lying in the garage. Yes. My home improvement project made me cry. I just don’t understand how I can suck so bad! It’s PAINT! You learn how to paint with your fingers when you are one. It’s not supposed to be that hard.

Moral is: I’m no Picasso or Van Gough or kindergartener apparently, although I do have a mess on my hands but it’s called the laundry room. Pretty soon the red paint is going to be black from so many coats. But I’m going to give it one more whirl. If any of you are more painting-inclined than I am, I’d love thoughts/feedback on how to get an even red paint.