In my next 30 years...

I remember my Facebook post last September 7 semi-vividly; I talked about fearing my thirties. And as I have my first birthday celebration tonight (thanks, Laible's) I still do hate the inevitable 3-0.

I don't know what it is, but I hate the fact I'm turning 30. Hate, hate, hate it. As a kid, I couldn't wait to be older. Be old enough to not have to wear a life jacket on the boat. Be old enough to babysit. Be old enough to drive. Be old enough to drink (like that made a difference--haha, just kidding mom). And suddenly I want it all to sllllloooooowwwww down.

I think it's a combination of things. I think I expected more out of myself at 30 than I've accomplished. I've always wanted 4 kids. I'm 0 for 4 at age 29 and 359 days. To borrow a quote, I am "pleased, but not satisfied" in my career. Don't get me wrong, I love who I work for and what I do, but the go-getter in me just pictured more by now. We live in the house that, albeit a great house, isn't the home we will make for the rest of our lives. But there's nothing we can really do about that, and it's frustrating to me at times.

I guess I dread 30 for two reasons: 

1. For not being able to identify a large list of achievements over the last, even eight years (since I graduated college)
2. Well, 30 is just a reminder of how quickly life passes by. Where does the time go?

I do know the best is yet to come and I don't look back on the last 29 years with disappointment or regret (although I do think I would have kicked ass at student council). I've been listening to to Hottie McGraw's "My Next 30 Years" for the last year now and there's a line I really like. Contrary to popular belief, although applicable, "drink a little lemonade and not so many beers; maybe I'll remember my next 30 years" is not the line I'm thinking of. Moresoe, "my next 30 years will be the best years of my life." I'm taking that to heart and will try it live it each and every day. Know why? I don't have a choice. Those 30 years are coming whether I like it or not. Better make each one count.